Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

Most often, the person you would die for would settle for dinner and a movie.
-Robert Brault

You can observe a lot by just watching. 
- Yogi Berra

There is still no cure for the common birthday. 
-John Glenn

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children;
now I have six children and no theories.
—John Wilmot

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. -
Chili Davis

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
- Steven Wright

Eggs cannot be unscrambled.
-American Proverb

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
—Richard Lewis

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
-Yogi Berra

You can bear your troubles or shrug them off.  They're your shoulders. 
- Robert Brault

The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring there.
-Robert M. Pirsig

If the lessons of history teach us anything
it is that nobody learns the lessons history teaches us.
—Anon

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
—Oscar Wilde

The only fish that swim with the current are the dead ones.
- Plague in the Alnwick Castle Gardens

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
—Kurt Vonnegut

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices …… take it or leave it
- Buddy Hackett

It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had. 
-Robert Brault

 The obscure we see eventually.  The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
-Edward R Morrow

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-Robert Frost

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
—Oscar Levant